Stories: Jonathan

My story: by Jonathan Buswell

So this month (February) is a month to celebrate LGBT awareness and to acknowledge just how far we have come. Why is this even important? “I don’t care if a person is gay – makes no difference to me”, I hear a lot of people say. 

Well it is important to understand and recognise just how far we have come and how our attitudes have changed towards people of the LGBT community over the years. I can remember in the not so distant past those terrifying adverts on the TV about AIDs, and the fear that was felt, not just by the LGBT community, but by those who didn’t understand the disease. I remember the prejudice towards gay people, believing them to be some plague bringers, being told “you can’t touch that”, “you can’t shake hands”, “you can’t hug”…

…”otherwise you will get AIDs and die”.

Even though most of the people around me at the time were telling me this was not coming from a place of hate, but of fear, I remember wishing and hoping I wouldn’t grow up to be gay, so that I wouldn’t have to face the same discrimination I saw around me.

But I couldn’t change who I was.

Growing up through school people’s attitudes toward those who were gay were terrifying; many a day you’d see a person getting beaten up, or having abuse shouted at them because they were gay, or not in the popular crowd, or in most cases, just a little different.

I remember, when I started being bullied for being gay, the fear I felt every morning getting up to face another day of being verbally abused, or physically – being punched. The teachers did little to stop this – was it just easier for them to do nothing, or something else?

When time came to leave school and start work, the same fears of being treated differently or bullied came again, however to my surprise there were others like me at work, or other adults that frankly didn’t care that i was gay and wouldn’t allow any type of bullying to take place – this was the first time in in my life that I can say I felt truly accepted, and not feel as though I had to hide who I was.

Throughout my working career I can honestly say that I have been fortunate to only encounter homophobia twice, and on both those occasions I was supported by the people I worked with. The world seems to be going through a lot of changes with BLM, LGBT, and many more causes highlighting society’s changing attitudes. I feel if you look back at the mid 80s, the prospect of an openly gay man working with vulnerable young people, making a difference in the world, and only judged by my actions instead of my sexual orientation, would seem impossible. But fast forward three decades and here I am.

I truly hope that as a society we continue to move forward with open mind and hearts, treat people by their actions and deeds, and not allow fear to control how we view those who are different from ourselves. If the current world situation has taught us anything, it’s to love and care for those around us and embrace our differences, rather than allow them to divide us.

Consider these:

What do you think about how Jonathan was treated by others throughout his formative years?

What impact do you think the actions and inactions of those around Jonathan might have had on a young man?

How do they differ?

How would you have responded?

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